E-mail Readiness Procedures

The E-mail Threat

Don't panic!

If you receive an e-mail, do not panic.

Proper Posture for Hiding From E-mail

Hide under your desk and wish real hard. The e-mail may disappear.

How to Flee the Building

If all else fails, flee the building as quickly as possible.

The Wireless Threat

Wireless E-mail Attacks!

Wireless e-mail may escape from your computer and chase you down the street.

Turn Left!

A sharp left turn may confuse the e-mail and allow you to escape.

No Burning Buildings

Find a building in which to hide from the e-mail. Do not select a building that is on fire.

The Virus Threat

Virus Alert!

E-mail viruses may strike at any time.

How to Make a Protective Mask

If you think an e-mail virus is in the area, cover your nose and mouth with plastic wrap or duct tape.

Proper Sleeping Position

After a few minutes, you may begin to feel sleepy. Feel free to take a nap. Hold your hands to your face to prevent your protective mask from being dislodged.

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This page was last updated on May 23, 2005, 22:47:09 EST. If you have any problems with this page, please contact the webmaster.

© 2003 John Klein